View Mobile Site

Living in a crazy world

Posted: February 9, 2012 3:21 p.m.
Updated: February 10, 2012 5:00 a.m.

• We Americans have become the most sensitive, easily offended, quick-to-demand-an-apology, get-our-feelings-hurt, complainingest nation in the history of the world.

Nearly everybody gets angry at any perceived slight, to the point that it’s almost impossible to state an opinion without offending someone or other.

Yes, there are lots of instances in which people have a right to be offended. There’s plenty of insensitivity out there.

But you wanna hear the backbreaker? Pit bull owners are angry at McDonald’s for an ad the fast-food giant ran which said eating a Chicken McBite -- that’s a first cousin to the McNugget, I think -- was less risky than petting a pit bull.

Hey, it was meant as humor. Pitt bull owners apparently don't have much of a sense of humor.

 “Enraged” is how the Associated Press described the reaction of some dog owners and defenders. And McDonald’s caved, issuing an apology and pulling the ad.

Hey, would you pet a pit bull?

Yeah, yeah, I know there are those out there who say pit bulls aren’t inherently aggressive, that it’s just those which are “raised wrong.”

I say balderdash to that. For years, I’ve read too many stories about pit bull attacks and hearing their shocked owners -- they’re always shocked, of course -- claim, “But he was always so gentle, and I never trained him to be aggressive.”

You ever hear about a black Lab killing a kid? How about a cocker spaniel?

I doubt it, but you’ve probably read of many instances of unprovoked attacks by pit bulls.

People have a right to own whatever dogs they wish -- as long as they don’t harm others. But pit bull owners need to give up their anger. Even the most sensitive ones can’t predict the behavior of dogs that have had fighting bred into them for generations.

• You think the South Carolina General Assembly doesn’t have enough to worry about?

Apparently Rep. Nathan Ballentine, a Lexington County Republican, does, because he wants lawmakers to pass a bill requiring South Carolina and Clemson to play each other in football every year.

OK, we all know the Clemson-South Carolina rivalry is a spirited one, a game that is followed by nearly everyone in the state. We all delight in it. Few people are neutral.

And yes, the rising tide of super conferences leaves fewer out-of-conference games to be played. But if either school tried to cancel the series, there would be massive alumni and fan uprisings.

It ain't gonna happen, and Ballantine’s measure got killed in committee Wednesday.

What we don’t need is the General Assembly passing football laws.

• The Food Police are getting out of hand.

A national morning TV show recently featured yet another segment on what’s good for you and what’s not.

You’ve seen these, no doubt.

This particular one was about salt. Don’t eat bread, cold cuts, pizza, poultry, soup, sandwiches, cheese, pasta, meatloaf or snacks, viewers were told.

What’s left? Earthworms and tree branches?

On another segment of the same show, a nutritionist was babbling on about comfort foods.

You know comfort foods, right? Grub that makes you feel better when you’re a bit down, food that warms the heart and the belly.

Apple pie, baked beans, macaroni and cheese, spaghetti, green bean casserole.

Now those are comfort foods.

Not so, said the expert.  They're not good for you and should be forsaken.

Her idea for the perfect comfort food?

Lentil soup.

I rest my case.

• Three contractors were bidding to repair a small fence at the White House -- one from South Carolina, one from Wisconsin and one from New Jersey.

The South Carolina contractor, John, took out a tape measure, jotted some figures down and said to the White House official, “Well, I figure $3,000 -- $1,300 for materials, $1,300 for my crew and $400 profit for me.”

Cletus, the man from Tennessee, then took his turn measuring.

 “I can do this for $2,800 -- $1,250 for materials, $1,250 for my crew and $300 profit for me.”

Vito from New Jersey didn’t even bother to pull out his tape measure. He leaned over to the official and whispered to him, “$12,800.”

The official replies, “How did you come up with such a high figure?”

Vito whispers back, “Five grand for me, five grand for you and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.”

 “Done” yelled the White House official.

And that’s how it all works in Washington.

Interested in viewing premium content?

A subscription is required before viewing this article and other premium content.

Already a registered member and have a subscription?

If you have already purchased a subscription, please log in to view the full article.

Are you registered, but do not have a subscription?

If you are a registed user and would like to purchase a subscription, log in to view a list of available subscriptions.

Interested in becoming a registered member and purchasing a subscription?

Join our community today by registering for a FREE account. Once you have registered for a FREE account, click SUBSCRIBE NOW to purchase access to premium content.

Membership Benefits

  • Instant access to creating Blogs, Photo Albums, and Event listings.
  • Email alerts with the latest news.
  • Access to commenting on articles.

Contents of this site are © Copyright 2014 Chronicle Independent All rights reserved. Privacy policy and Terms of service

Powered by
Morris Technology
Please wait ...