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Wedding memories of a lifetime

Posted: August 20, 2013 8:36 a.m.
Updated: August 21, 2013 5:00 a.m.

I have been to several weddings in my day and I’m very excited because I’ll be going to another at the end of September. Of course, I’m excited to see two friends join their lives and these two are perfectly suited for each other and very much in love. And I’m always excited to participate in the fun and festivities of the wedding and reception. Weddings tend to be very beautiful and memorable events. I’d like to share some of my favorite wedding memories…

The first wedding I was in was my Aunt Lil’s when I was 4. My older sister, Dabnee, and I were flower girls. Dabnee was 7 at the time and she tended to act like she was so grown up. She still tends to act like that to this day. I’m not sure how I remember this so well, but I remember being annoyed with her that day for telling me what to do -- walk down the aisle, throw petals, don’t eat the petals -- annoying things like that. When we got to the altar, as I was standing beside her in our white fluffy dresses, I looked up at her and thought to myself, her nose kind of looked like a piglet nose (I honestly remember thinking that) and then in true 4-year-old fashion, I stuck one of my fingers right up her nostril. There was a gasp throughout the crowd.

I think Dabnee handled herself very well at that point, just pushing my hand down and holding it tightly by her side so I couldn’t do it again, which I am sure I would have done had I been able. My NaNa was sitting in the front row and I remember her face was very red and her eyes were very big and I can’t be sure, but I would have to guess she was cursing under her breath and listing the varieties of spankings I would get once the wedding was over.

The next wedding that I remember well was my Uncle Jet’s where Dabnee and I were junior bridesmaids and my little sister, Jordan, was now the flower girl. Jordan was always a very headstrong little girl. For example, she made us call her “Dorothy” for months after she first saw The Wizard of Oz; she would not answer to Jordan at all, would seriously look at you like you were a stranger. She also would scream over radio music in car trips to and from school because she said it was too loud and was hurting her ears. Something about that scream of hers helped her get her way more often than not.

Still, I find it amazing to this day that she was allowed to do her own makeup for my uncle’s wedding. I think she was only 3 at the time and she had one of those makeup kits that were so popular back then with the blush and eye shadow and of course … lipstick for little girls to play dress up with. So there she was in her own little fluffy white dress, throwing petals, with bold blue eyelids and hot pink cheeks and yes, bright, shiny red lips. She was also pouting about something that day so in all her pictures she looks like an angry, baby clown … but a very cute one. (Also, at some point in the ceremony of that wedding, my dad, who was one of the best men, either knocked over a fern or caught a fern that someone else near him knocked over. That memory always takes backseat to little Jordan channeling Liza Minelli for makeup inspiration.)

More recently, I was in my cousin, Amber’s, wedding as one of her bridesmaids. It was a beautiful, outdoor, late afternoon service by a pond out in the country. It was absolutely picturesque. I, of course, made the bad decision of selecting a pair of shoes that were too small for my feet. I thought I would be fine because the dress was long and no one would see them and I’d only be standing in them for 20 minutes at the most.

Wrong! I was not OK by any means in those shoes. As soon as I was situated in place at the altar, I quickly realized I could not feel my feet. The shoes had to go. God forgive me, but I waited until the prayer and then, while everyone’s heads were bowed and eyes were closed, I took them off and kicked them under the azalea bush behind me. I thought I was in the clear until I looked up from “praying” to see my Uncle Joe, the bride’s father, staring at me in disbelief and shaking his head.

If that wasn’t enough entertaining on my part, there was special music at this wedding provided by the groom’s brother and right at the end of the song my date who was standing in the crowd directly beside my mother shared some special music of his own … as his cell phone went off.

He turned it off immediately and looked truly horrified, probably because my mom was looking at him in a murderous way while I was mouthing the words “I will kill you” over and over. He eventually just stopped making eye contact with either of us. He might have cried a little. Poor guy, but seriously! Who does not silence a phone during a wedding?!

So, yes, I am excited to attend another wedding in the near future. I just hope the darling bride and groom know I have my own special way of making memories last for a lifetime!

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