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I’m wired that way

Posted: September 23, 2014 9:05 a.m.
Updated: September 24, 2014 5:00 a.m.

Everyone has a special niche, that one role that they execute best. Over the past three years, I have discovered that I am a great listener and problem solver. I listen and then I offer my advice to anyone who opens up to me.

I have advised multiple friends and associates over the years with pretty decent outcomes.

My listening and advice giving skills extended to so many of my classmates in school (college) that I was often asked if I was a psychology major or minor, and some people were stunned when I revealed that my major was actually English and my minor political science. I am not entirely sure what molded me into the adviser and listener that I am. I have an idea, but perhaps I am just wired that way.

I have never been the type to break down and share my most intimate secrets and fears with people; not even my most near and dear friends. I guess that sounds kind of bad because you are supposed to be able to trust friends with all information; however, I like to work out my own problems and/or worries.

Don’t get me wrong, I have talked to some friends about topics that are or were hard for me to reveal due to fearing being viewed as weak, but I often kept certain things and still keep certain things to myself. Another reason being because (previously) I did not want someone to have something to hold over my head and taunt me with. It is important to be guarded to some degree. Some people who you think will be long-term friends end up being around for a much shorter time.

Being somewhat of an introvert when it came to sharing things about myself encouraged people to talk.

I have been surprised at some of the things that people have told me, particularly people who I barely knew.

Rarely (every once in a blue moon rare) having the urge to reveal what I considered personal information to those closest to me forced me to learn to resolve my own issues if I had the resources to do so.

One might think that keeping most things to myself is problematic, but to date I have dealt with every major problem (in the past five years) that has come my way effectively. By effectively, I mean worked out in a way that absolutely benefited me or in a way that did not hurt me or get me into any major trouble.

Aside from being somewhat of an introvert, I believe another thing that made me such a good analyzer of my own thoughts and problems as well as other people’s was my major in college. Yes, English. How? Because I was always told to think and read critically, and I never got by with writing about obvious, on the surface arguments or theories. Thinking below the surface slowly became ingrained in me. I will admit that the constant back and forth between thoughts can be a little frustrating, but I would have it no other way. I know myself better than anyone else, so I know what is best for me.


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