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Owens: This I will keep

Posted: January 3, 2015 12:01 p.m.
Updated: December 31, 2014 1:00 a.m.

 

In less than 24 hours, we will be in a new year. Many of us will make New Year’s Resolutions and few of us will act on and keep them. As I said in my column about two or three weeks ago (my year in review), the second half of 2014 was rough for me but the unfortunate happenings opened my eyes and made me realize something important, something that I have not quite been doing.

I stopped making resolutions three years ago because I was one of those people who never carried them out. However, for the sake of ensuring that 2015 is a great year, I am making the resolution to be more spontaneous and bold and do what I want to do and go where I want to go. I refuse to continue to worry too much about finances and how I will make this or that work. I need to do more acting and a little less thinking, pondering and analyzing -- sounds a bit impractical and that is the way I want and need it to be. I have played it safe too many times, and playing it safe may have kept me comfortable but not always happy.

Happy is my aim this year -- being happier. I am getting by and making ends meet, but I am not at the point where I feel life is even close to being complete. I need that and I need it soon. “You are still young,” is what a lot of people tell me. What they mean is I am young so I still have time to go places and do whatever I want to do. They are right, I am young and I have no obligation to anyone else but myself, but I fear if I keep waiting for this to happen to make that happen then I am not going to get to that -- what I am yearning for and have been yearning to do for years.

Safe is just what it implies -- comfort and out of harm’s way, but there is no adventure in safe, there’s no spontaneity or faith leaping in safe. Safe, my safe, includes no chance taking. Extreme happiness could lie just outside of safe, but I won’t know if I never step outside of those boundaries. Playing it safe for me has been keeping myself confined in a cage where little harm can be done -- I have sealed myself off from the great big world.

I have seen pictures of friends on Facebook living it up, road tripping from state to state and from country to country. I have friends who left places where they were comfortable and safe (financially and bodily) for places where their hearts led them, but where their minds were skeptical and feared the unknown. I see and hear about those things and think why won’t I try that? Why do I tell myself that I can’t do those things?

Something’s gotta give and maybe that something is fear and doubt or anxiety. What if, what if, what if is what cycles through my mind when I think about doing something that can end badly, and I suppose it should. I need to start thinking about what if things go right as opposed to what if things go wrong. I won’t know until I try and if I fail, at least I tried. So, I am declaring right now and will be declaring and acting on my resolution to take more chances and go where my heart leads me in 2015.

 

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