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For someone who is not ready, growing up is hard to do

Posted: December 17, 2015 5:40 p.m.
Updated: December 18, 2015 1:00 a.m.
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Henry Kerfoot is a junior at Camden High School, the business manager of the school’s paper, The Palmetto Leaf, and one of several high school columnists for the Chronicle-Independent, Camden, S.C.

Being a junior in high school, it is time for me to start making important life changing decisions.

Where am I going to go to college?

What am I going to major in?

For me, this is some scary stuff. Another thing which scares me is, as I grow older, my parents give me more responsibilities and try to teach me the skills I will need to take to college and beyond.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not unhappy with their attempts to make me more self-reliant; it is a part of parenting. What scares me is being out on my own in just a measly year and a half. Having to do the little things like laundry or mailing back shoes which do not fit. Most of the things I now take for granted will soon be things put on my shoulders. Until now, I did not realize the value of my parents.

Growing up is a part of life, but some do it faster than others, and I am one who wants to take it slowly. Some call it immature. Some may call it lazy. They may be right.

Perhaps it is just because I am not quite ready to grow up yet.

Many of my friends are always talking about how ready they are to go to college, and are so driven by what they want to do in life. I envy those people. I wish I knew where I want to go to college. I wish I knew what I want to do in life. I wish I was driven to achieve my overall goal.

Problem: I do not know what I want to do, so how am I supposed to set goals to achieve my overall, not-yet-existing goal?

My sister was one of those people. From early in her junior year, she knew where she wanted to go and what she wanted to do. She got into her first choice college as a rising senior. As I approach the same mark, a rising senior, I cannot help to wonder if somehow that could be me. But it is not.

Because of this uncertainty, college terrifies me. More specifically, growing up terrifies me.

Part of growing up is being successful, but success often comes hand-in-hand with failure (another terrifying thing). Both of my parents are successful and have worked hard to achieve their goals and provide me with the life I have today. Recently, people I know have gone to college after performing well in high school and not met their full potential in college. I am beyond frightened this will be me.

As I grow older, become more mature, learn to be more self-reliant, responsible, and figure out what I want to do and where I need to go to further my education, one thing is certain: I will be scared the whole time. But is that such a bad thing?

So, I will take out the trash, return the shoes which did not fit and do my own laundry. They are the small steps that I will take towards growing up.

(Henry Kerfoot is a junior at Camden High School, the business manager of the school’s paper, The Palmetto Leaf, and one of several high school columnists for the Chronicle-Independent, Camden, S.C.)

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