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A few pearls of wisdom

Posted: July 31, 2017 1:36 p.m.
Updated: August 1, 2017 1:00 a.m.

“That man is so crooked he could crawl through a barrel of fishhooks and not get a scratch on him.” --Troy Stevenson

We have all heard good witticisms, logic, nuggets of wisdom and funny expressions from our friends and neighbors. This is a smattering of collected  expressions and we have duly noted the author when possible.

“We were so poor, the bread had only one side to it.” --Ed Walden

“If you ever sit down at a poker game and don’t see a sucker, get up.” --Bill Beckham

“If a man cheats at golf, then he will cheat you in his business.” --Richard Ammons

“She chased him until he caught her.” --Bruce Rush

“The best time of retirement ... Sunday night.” --Tommy Hecker

“You can make someone mad and they will get over it, but if you ever embarrass someone they will never forget it.” --Henry DuRant

“You can’t have both the vote of the cotton and the endorsement of boll weevil.” --Fred Sheheen

“It is better to start a sermon with the heat of hell before speaking about the virtues of heaven.” --Father Hesburg

“Everybody has a scrapbook and everybody has skeletons in the closet. You just don’t want to listen to too much of either.” --Billy Higgins

Advice to a daughter or granddaughter. “Watch how your boyfriend treats his dog and his mother. Also, it is more important to watch how he treats the waitress than what he orders.”

Advice to a son or grandson. “If you are in a bar and a fight breaks out, put your back against the wall.”  --Hutch Hutchinson

“In making a fist, make sure your thumb stays down and if a fight is inevitable, throw your first lick at the midsection.”

“The only requirement I have for my players is that they like girls and cry when they lose.” --Coach Jake Gaither

“I want to be the white man’s brother, not his brother-in-law.” --Martin Luther King Jr.

“No one is as pure as the driven snow.” --Daryl Ogburn

“When people are well-informed, they can be trusted with their own government.”  --Thomas Jefferson

“If you ever have a house guest and they brag about how Christian they are, count the good silver before they leave.” --Daisey Perry

“An adult can be a kid’s friend, but he cannot be his peer.” --Red Lynch

Per the military: “It takes three weeks to break a habit and six weeks in an exercise program before you can see true measurable results.”

“In investing, it is not the return on your principle, but rather the return of your principle.’’ --Mamie Raines

“Athletics is like the front porch of a house -- certainly not the most important room, but the most visible.” --Coach Dean Smith

“Athletes are different, but not special.” --Coach Clarence “Big House” Gaines

“There is no ice cream in my freezer” is the reply Lloyd Truesdale gave a friend when a buddy asked him why he had stopped coming to church. The buddy asked him what he meant by that statement and Lloyd  replied, “That excuse is as good as any.”

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