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Fear of change no stranger but still not welcome

Posted: November 16, 2017 2:00 p.m.
Updated: November 17, 2017 1:00 a.m.

I’ve experienced major change before. 

 After going to the same school for all of elementary and middle school, I switched and went to Camden High. After being around the same 20-something people for most of my childhood, suddenly, I was in a whole different environment -- especially since I had moved from a private school to a public school. 

Public school is a lot different from private school, the most striking difference being the size of the school and the student population. Instead of having 50 people in my graduating class, I now have a whopping 200. 

 The first year was the worst, as I was scared and felt awkward and out of place. Now, as a senior, I have similar fears about going to college, only this time, the stakes feel higher, and now money is brought into the equation. A lot of high school is spent preparing for what happens after graduation, primarily, though, college. Ever since I was a freshman, teachers have compared things we face here in high school to things we will have to face in college, and for me, it has built up a lot of pressure over the years.

 By all means, I am excited to go to college. It’s going to be fun to get out of this small town and have more opportunities available to me. But I still can’t help but feel nervous about the whole thing. I’m scared about the academics, and I’m scared of not having enough money to pay for school, and I’m scared of making mistakes once I am there and on my own. 

Although I know that mistakes are inevitable, the stakes feel a lot higher this time because I’m entering adulthood now and how well I do in college might affect the outcome of my entire life. It’s a lot different from high school.

 I know that none of these fears should bar me from going to college. Even when there is fear involved, it is worth it to take a chance. I thought at first that coming to Camden was a mistake, but now that I am settled and have a friend group and am involved in band and newspaper, I feel a lot better about things. Change scares me, but they say that everything that’s good happens outside of your comfort zone. I can attest to that, as this is my third year being at Camden High and things are better for me now than they ever would have been at my old school.

 This next step that I am aiming at taking will mark the biggest change in my life. The only thing I know for sure is that my fear of change will be shared by at least half of the nearly 6,000 other students who are searching to find their own way.


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