The King James Version of the Bible is the best-selling book of all time. With stories from more than 3,000 years ago, the text is a guiding light for many of America’s faithful believers and has been the subject of study and comment for those in the secular realm, too.
That's why Deseret News’ local edition published a list in April of possible viral headlines for popular biblical stories — if Upworthy were to publish them today. But new data from ComScore found that people, specifically millennials, are getting their news from a vareity of other sources, such as BuzzFeed, The New York Times and Complex, more.
As a result, we decided to update the list with a few headlines of our own — ones that would resonate with Slate, The Atlantic and BuzzFeed if they were to report on the biblical stories below.
Here are the headlines we came up with:
Jacob and Leah
Upworthy — Why Grooms Should Always Look at Their Bride Before the Wedding
Slate — Laban Now Says Jacob’s Not Marrying Rachel; That Means He’ll Marry Leah
The Atlantic — Sisters: A Rivalry Over Love
BuzzFeed — 21 Reasons Why #TeamLeah is Better Than #TeamRachel
All Jacob wanted was to marry Rachel, but her father had other plans. On the night of their wedding, Laban, the father of Rachel, switched her out of the wedding for his other daughter, Leah. Jacob didn’t notice and ended up marrying Leah instead. It wasn’t until years later that he was able to marry Rachel, though that sparked some issues, too, given that it created a rivalry between the sisters.
David and Goliath
Upworthy — When Being Called “Stoner” Was Heroic
Slate — Little Guy Bothered by Big Guy, So He Kills Him
The Atlantic — When the Little Guy Beats the Big Guy
BuzzFeed — Here’s How David Beat Goliath in GIFs
When a giant measuring in at more than 9 feet tall pitched the idea of fighting the Israelites, it was David who stepped up to bat. The two engaged in combat, but it was David, the smaller of the two, who conquered the beast, slaying him with his sling.
Walls of Jericho
Upworthy — A Different Drummer: The Rumble That Tumbled the Walls
Slate — Walls of Jericho Are Terribly Built, and Here’s Why
The Atlantic – Why the Walls Crumbled
BuzzFeed — 21 Times the Walls of Jericho Looked Really Dang Good
It was in the Battle of Jericho that the walls came down. With Joshua leading the Israelites, he was told to take down the city in Canaan. And, specifically, he was told by God to have soldiers surround the city walls in anticipation of the battle for six days. On the seventh day, the walls came down, and the soldiers rushed in to take the city.
The story of Job
Upworthy — So You Had A Bad Day? Trust Me, His Was Worse
Slate — Help! I’m Having the Worst Day, and My Wife Says It’s God’s Fault
The Atlantic — The Politics of a Bad Day
BuzzFeed — 21 Things That Only Someone Having a Bad Day Would Understand
Your worst day is without a doubt Job’s best day. God offered Satan a chance to inflict pains and horrors on Job as a way to test the man’s faith — and Satan lit a flame under Job’s life. His livestock was struck by lightning, and a wind storm blew down his house and killed his family. Job then accepted this was a part of God’s plan and was given wealth to solidify his future.
Abraham and Isaac
Upworthy — He Was Asked To Sacrifice His Son, But What Happened In Genesis 22:12 Will Make You Cry For Hours
Slate — Why I Chose Not to Sacrifice My Son All for God
The Atlantic — A Fascinating Tale of Sacrifice Gone Wrong
BuzzFeed — 21 Things You Can Do on a Hill Besides Sacrifice Your Son
Abraham was asked by God to sacrifice his son Isaac — but he didn’t go through with the plan. When Abraham hiked up the mountains to kill his son, an angel appeared just in the nick of time to stop him.
The story of Moses
Upworthy — Unexpected Floating Trip Takes Baby from Rags to Riches
Slate — I Sent My Son Up River Because I Was Too Scared of the Pharaoh
The Atlantic — Rags to Riches by the River
BuzzFeed – 21 Outfits Perfect for Little Baby Moses
Before Moses went on to lead a mass exodus out of Egypt, he had somewhat of a hard life on the river. Fear mounted for many of the women in Egypt, which forced Jochebed to send her baby son out onto the Nile. The pharaoh’s daughter found the boy and brought him back to her dad. This boy ended up growing into a powerful leader.
Upworthy — 10 Weird Tricks to Free Your People for Good
Slate — All These Plagues Just Happened and It’s Because of Moses
The Atlantic — Is Moses to Blame?
BuzzFeed — 21 Pictures of the Egyptian Plagues With Instagram Filters
Before Moses left Egypt, there were 10 plagues that descended upon the Earth. Water turned to blood, frogs hopped along in droves, hail stormed down on people and complete darkness fell upon Egypt for three days. It was not a pretty sight.
Adam and Eve
Upworthy — A Boy, a Girl and a Snake Hang Out. This Can Only End Badly
Slate — No, You Shouldn’t Have Eaten That Fruit
The Atlantic — The Snake’s Forbidden Fruit
BuzzFeed — 21 Other Fruits You Can Eat Besides Forbidden Ones
It was simple — don’t eat the fruit, don’t listen to the snake. But alas, things went terribly awry for Adam and Eve. The two ate the forbidden fruit that began mankind’s separation from God.
The Ten Commandments
Upworthy — 10 Things You Should Stop Doing; No. 6 is Killer
Slate — The Way to Live Your Life, Explained
The Atlantic — God, and the Commandments He Gives
BuzzFeed — 21 Other Things That Aren’t Ten Commandments But Should Be
The Ten Commandments were not only established as a guideline for people to follow during the story’s time, but also today. In fact, the Ten Commandments can be seen quite clearly in a lot of what we do in today’s society.
Have a few headlines of your own? Send your favorites to Herb Scribner at firstname.lastname@example.org