Remember The Golden Rule?
“Treat others how you want to be treated.”
This saying goes far beyond simply being kind to people, or going out of your way to be available or helpful to those in need. Yes, you would want others to assist you in a bind or be pleasant even in an unfavorable circumstance. But there are many ways to create equality in your world that may go completely unnoticed by others. It’s really just about adjusting your views and attitudes.
Instead of just treating others the way you would want to be treated, think about others the way you would want to be thought of. Feel about others the way you would want others to feel about you. Speak to others the way you would want to be spoken to or spoken of.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Focus less on punishing those who cross you or others and choose to guide them into a better frame of mind. Teach them not only the error of their ways, but the error in their thinking. This is not a lesson in condescension, or even conversion, but a way to understand the progression from thought to action. If someone believes he is doing the right thing by trying to control another or become invasive in another’s life, first try to understand how that person feels his actions will get him from a desire to a result. Then, help him evaluate the consequences and perhaps choose a better way to achieve his goals and consider the goals of others. Always be open to seeing the other side as well, you may learn something.
Speak to and of others how you would like to be spoken to, and about. We all talk about other people, but assigning roles to those in our lives and trying to cast a melodrama is unnecessary. (Although it occurs frequently.) Everyone is multifaceted and cannot be fit into the box we would like to crop them into. When you retell a story, make sure to tell the unabridged, objective version, where all the characters have depth and empathy. Do not speak disparagingly about someone just because you disapprove of him.
Feel about others how you would have them feel about you. Holding onto harsh feelings will only harm you and make you hardened to feeling love and compassion. Whether or not you bear responsibility in another’s harsh feelings toward you, knowing these feelings remain is unpleasant. Especially if you feel they are unjust.
Think of others the way you would like to be thought of. Refrain from thinking, or speaking, pityingly of someone — particularly if you feel you are better off than she is. Things may seem disparate, but just as you may feel this way, others may think they are in a better position than you. Thinking of yourself as superior, more or better than another is not a beneficial way of thinking. Given or received. If you would like to help someone you think is less fortunate, do if from love, not pity.
Make an effort to respect even the unrespectable. Find something in a person or experience that was positive or beneficial and focus on that. There are inevitably circumstances in which you were or were made out to be the bad guy, and others made no effort to respect your role in the matter, or went out of their way to demolish your integrity or reputation. Do not follow in the same order, even if you feel it is just or deserved. You do not know what goes on in the mind of another or what motivates another’s actions. All you can do is take responsibility for your response to this situation, and choose to show ultimate compassion and respect when it is hard to find. Not only will this make you a better person, it will show others your true integrity and make it nearly impossible to doubt yours if it is threatened or attacked in the future. It may even redeem it in the past.
I have made a conscious effort to see everyone in my life as equal. I have come across certain people, generally of a particular faith or non-faith, who make clear through their conversations with me, and about others, that they feel a distinct superiority to others who disagree with their ideology. In the conversations I have admittedly had myself, I’ve discovered that I do not appreciate being looking down on, by believers and non-believers alike. So I’ve decided not to look down on anybody, or try to convert anybody to any ideology. I simple sit and talk with people, ask questions, listen to different schools of thought, and share my wisdoms as I see fit. I’ve learned to enjoy conversations as a way to connect, instead of using them to push my agenda.
Even the Messiah sat down and ate dinner with the sinners. And if only in your mind, you can do the same. Whether others treat you with kindness and compassion has no bearing on how you treat them. Become the compassion and respect you want to receive. It’s easy for someone to be nasty to you if you’re nasty to them. Don’t give them that chance. Make it hard for people not to see you in the radiant light you portray. Make them work to hate you, disrespect you or be ugly toward you. Make it easy for them to love you, respect you, and see you as the magnificent being you are.
(Georgia D. Lee is a graduate of the University of Miami School of Business and founder of www.Spiritual-Life-Skills.com, a multimedia self-help, self-actualization, spiritual education and personal empowerment system. EMAIL: GeorgiaDLee@gmail.com)